While Valentine’s day is portrayed as the time for peak display of romance in relationships, many seem to find that it highlights the feeling of loneliness.
Galentine’s day and female self-care continue to be strong themes every Feb. 14, yet statistically, it is reflected that men are the ones in need of the extra affection. Dating app users alone on platforms such as Tinder and eharmony are overwhelmingly male at 62%.
Despite male loneliness never seeming to be in the spotlight, men have a more difficult time coping with being alone.
The question poses: why are there more lonely and single men than ever before?
A large portion of the explanation can be accredited to dating apps. Because men compose a larger pool in dating apps, women can afford to be more selective with who they decide to show interest in.
“Anyone using a dating app voluntarily submits themselves to the market to be viewed, judged, and pursued,” said Mateo Portelli, a UNLV student who says to have been in a loving relationship for the last two and a half years. “We objectify ourselves and subject our crafted personas to be investigated by other strangers.”
Portelli then claimed, “If you can’t text well, it doesn’t matter your height or how your voice sounds or how you communicate nonverbally. All those things have been removed from the calculus of romantic pursuit.”
Cameron Jensen, another male UNLV student who is happily in a relationship, had a slightly different viewpoint on the impact dating apps have had on relationships.
“I believe dating apps for many single men promote a more transactional idea behind relationships. If one doesn’t work out, they can move on to the next profile they match with. The ease promotes the ability to continuously be looking for something perfect off the bat and not build a relationship,” said Jensen.
While Portelli advises those struggling in their love life to trade comfort for a progression that will make one stronger, smarter, and more pleasant to be around, Jensen suggests finding a partner who you can be comfortable with in any situation.
Contrary to the social dynamic of a few decades ago, men are currently more likely than women to be unpartnered.
Prior to dating apps, relationships were often based on proximity to potential partners. However, now dating apps provide women with the ability to easily find men from anywhere in the world, leaving those living around the corner to seem mildly less attractive.
Another explanation for this seems to be the increasing number of women in the working industry. Since 1990, women have graduated college in far higher numbers than men.
Even Nordic countries such as Denmark, Norway, and Sweden are offering incentives for couples to have children due to the independence of women in the work industry. Often, these patterns are occurring in more developed countries, such as the United States, which has hit a 32-year low with fertility rates.
In a society where women are provided the opportunity to participate in a myriad of professional fields, the need to find a man for financial stability significantly drops.
Living in a world where people, in general, have become increasingly isolated by technology, men would serve well to rely on personal interactions if they are looking for a relationship with substance. This could encompass a variety of methods from talking to others in class to taking texts over dating apps and translating them to meetings in person.